I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
