you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
