remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
