Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
