I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
