I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
