I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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