You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you win again, gameday.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
