Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
