fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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