do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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