Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
