I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have feelings that need drinking.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
