That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
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I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
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Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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