i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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