Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
