Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you win again, gameday.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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