you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
