so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
