New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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