I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
