So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
