I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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