Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
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