The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
