honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
