I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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