this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
