She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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