there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
