On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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