so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
