I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So much rum. So many feels.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
