So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
