So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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