Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
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there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
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Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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