She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
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now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
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I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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