Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
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Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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