He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i think i have two assholes
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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