u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
