dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
