best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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