We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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