I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it glows. i had to have it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
