belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
