fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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