hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize