New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
