Banned from zoo.
Again?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
