Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
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I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
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In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The feeling are messing with the penis
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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