that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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