all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
