Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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