Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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