you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
