I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
