So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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