New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
